"This isn't in my plans!"

Oh, my plans! You know Teacher's know how to do 1 thing well and that is... PLAN! When my pregnancy plans went out the window 6 days ago, we had a crisis level 3 meltdown in my hospital room.

I had been feeling pretty sick since Monday. I woke up with nausea, back and chest pain. I had to meet my new team mates, start planning for maternity leave, decorate my room! I have newborns and families and clients to take care of! I have to edit! I have to respond to emails, messages, texts, figure out his nursery! OMG his furniture is STILL not here! Let's say, the Iran nuclear situation looked like Woodstock compared to my brain function at this point.

I called my Mom, cried, called my Dr, cried, and then said, "Screw this, I have stuff to do." and off I went. My team mates were probably thinking I was nuts because I literally wanted to curl up and die but I got through the day and I felt better. Tuesday, felt great, Wednesday at 4:30 am... I couldn't ignore it anymore. Luckily, I had my 33 week appointment and another growth check ultrasound scheduled. I would be just fine!

Got to the Dr and literally thought I was having an outer body experience. Jason was quiet, so I knew he was worried. I finally get called back to do the ultrasound. Being on my back felt like a death wish. I seriously thought my chest was going to explode, I just kept saying, "MY CHEST HURTS!" I felt like no one was listening, I just couldn't take it anymore!!!!

Then, they checked my vitals. "Oh my God, you need to calm down. Your blood pressure is at stroke level." Because, when one tells you that, you really calm down. She rechecked it and my urine. 162/100. I panicked.

That 10 minutes makes my hurt. I was worried about gaining weight during my pregnancy. I didn't. I just felt so superficial in that moment. That is nothing compared to what I went through. I think that is where some of my guilt stems. And if you tell me it's not my fault, I will punch you. I am not there yet to accept it was just something that happened.

So, my Dr comes in and says (without looking at me), "You've just won a trip to the hospital."

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? THIS IS NOT MY PLAN! I cannot be on bed rest for 7 weeks!!! *Go back to Nuclear meltdown above* Oh, if only bed rest was the cure.

I get to the hospital and it was the longest ride in my life. I had the worst pain in my life in my chest, I literally wanted to go to sleep. Hours later, ultrasounds later, and a magnesium drip to prevent me going into seizures (it spiked to 191/102) the high risk Dr comes in. I have no idea what she said except, "You're having this baby tonight."

"Um, excuse, me? No, No I am not." Then the Neonatal Dr came in.. and then, "Yes, get him out now."

I am not ready to get into the rest of this just yet but I don't remember a lot. It is not for dramatic affect, it's just I was very sick. I am getting ready to go see my love muffin. More to come.