Perspective and I know... It's been a while.

I know... I am hanging my head in shame. I am blogging for the first time as a married woman! Almost 6 months married... lol

The Wedding was ah-ma-zing. Perfect day, people, life. Good, good, good. I am lucky and blessed to share my life with my husband. (and yes, it still feels good to say that)

I tend to write when my brain is jumbled or feels like it's leaking. While, I am ready to talk about some stuff, there are just some things I am going to keep on the D.L. For now, anyway.

I have been feeling very stretched lately. Almost like a "Stretch Armstrong" doll that was broken and the gooey stuff hardened? You know? I am not as flexible feeling as I normally am and you know what, I don't care. Really, I don't.

Epiphany time!!! I am 1 person, I have a lot of worth, people value me and my talents. At the end of everyday, I do my best. I try to make things better for those around me but lately... blahhhhh to all of you. Guess why? I don't care.

Yeah, I do. I do care. So, if you see me and my face looks stressed, I care that you may feel like anything I am wearing on my face is directed at you. Chances are, it's not. If you see me and I look worn out, I am. Success is a crazy balance. I want to be great at everything I do and I am realizing (slowly) that some stuff just has to give. So... If I don't volunteer for something at school or I don't want to take your 3 year olds pictures at his Birthday Party, or I want to take a weekend off to be with my :::husband::: <3 I am going to, and yes, I still care.

This post is brought to you by the chaos in my brain. Heart your faces! Hope I haven't lost any of you all!

xo-mere

"All you have to do is die and pay taxes."

I love my friend, Jill. She puts things in perspective for me. I have been feeling the crunch of Wedding stuff and I have found myself saying "But I will feel bad if I don't..." (insert whatever you want after don't) I called Jill for some "who do I invite advice." She said many things that rang true but the gist of it is that I need to surround us with the people who have supported, loved, cared, and are GENUINELY happy for us. So. I am. Let's face it, I can't make everyone happy. She also reminded me that I don't have to do anything but die and pay taxes. Thanks, Beavis.

My girlfriends are so wonderful. They have been there every step of the way in this crazy and bumpy process. I have to be honest, I had not really allowed myself to "enjoy" all of it. I have had some financial burdens, old unfinished business, and some family stuff. Through it all, I had my Fab 3. I want to thank them for my mindless ranting, worries, and frustrations.

I made my mind up about a week ago that I was going to "give it all up to God." For someone who isn't overtly religious, this was a stretch. I believe in God, don't get me wrong but I haven't been someone who prays. Someone who thinks a higher power would get me through stuff. Mostly, because I have just put the weight of the world on my shoulders and just woke up and went to bed each day.

Immediately, I felt guilty. "Like Jesus really needs my silly burdens... I mean, we have an Olympics to win." I just went with it and guess what? Things are starting to fall into place. I also realized how lucky I am. I mean, 2 years ago... seems like forever. 5 years, holy cow.

I am 38 days away from marrying someone who drives me insane most days but I couldn't imagine my life without him, his dimples, Stella, or his amazing family and friends.

So, I am officially "excited" "ready" and "over the petty stuff."

Have a good week. Don't sweat the small stuff.

And pay your taxes.

xoxo-mere