Year 1 in the Books..

Holy Mother of all things Baby Jesus. I have arrived upon the last day of school as a 1st year Teacher. This time last year I was living it up in my "Last Summer of Freedom" before the "Real World" kicked back in and I was so excited, so anxious, SO ready. I literally remember walking in the First Day of School and I was so nervous I could feel my voice shaking. I remember just thinking "Oh my God, I am in charge of these kids.."

I have definitely had my share of ups and downs but I am a big believer in reflection. I always want to do, act, feel, and give better. I was a "Yes" girl for most of the school year. I would volunteer for anything, help out when it was needed, get to school at 7:30 and leave at 8:00. I was living and breathing my career. There is nothing wrong with passion and hard work. All of this changed as soon as I really started to get tired, burnt, frustrated, and wanting to spend more time with my love. ;)

I had to start drawing back. Come in late, stay late. Come in early, leave early, learn it's okay to say NO, and I had to let go that I was going to mess up. My kids drive me crazy. They do. Lord knows how many times I have text Jason, Jamie, and Charlotte with the word "drink?" and they knew it was "a day" (my general response for when people asked how my day was and it was 50 shades of cray).

I started out with 23 kids, lost 1, gained 3. Math experts, that is 25 kids. I sat down for a second today while they were working quietly (a rare moment) and snapped a pic. It hit me in that moment that when they grow up I will have been "their 4th grade teacher, Ms. Mooney". I hope they say nice things about me. lol

I hope they know that I will always be there for them, no matter what journey their life takes, if they make mistakes (lord knows I have made tons), and my heart and door is always open. These kids are so special to me. They were my first class. They got the good, the bad, and the ugly. We laughed until we were about to cry, we cried because we were frustrated and disappointed, and I am their biggest cheerleader.

I have been trying to be kinder to myself. I remind myself I am a good teacher because I show up everyday with a "fresh" start mentality. If there is one thing about me, I know a fresh start. I don't have children of my own but I have 25 kids. I would do anything for them.

I have met some really great people this year and my bond with others has grown my millions. Tonya, Milessa, Dehily, Liz, Annemarie, Abby, Malia, Leslie, and Ashley. You guys have been so wonderful to me and I value you and countless others that have picked me up when I wanted to quit, make me crack up, and compliment me in so many ways.

18 hours, 38 mins, and 20...19 seconds. Year one will be in the books. Holy.cow.

SUMMER!!!! I found you!

Have a wonderful week!

xoxo-mere

High 5 for Friday.. On a Thursday Night...

Hello Peeps. It's been a while. Here are my favs. One thing not on my list of fun stuff is wedding planning off of Pinterest. People.be.cray. ;)

1. New lipgloss. And mascara. And eyeshadow.... I once read somewhere that old makeup can cause cancer. So, I threw away and bought new. :)

2. 8 MORE DAYS OF CRAZY TOWN (aka "The Range"). Also, no more 5 day work weeks the rest of the year!!!  Summer, I can hear you! I am coming for you!

This is me, saying W-O-W. Get it? Thanks Milessa.

3. The Beautiful Mess ap for Instagram. Thanks Katie B. I am now obsessed!

4. It's been sunny lately. I have been distracted while driving. Bling. Bling. Never gets old.

5. Setting a wedding date which I will not release to the public until after next week. Prince Morrison and I need to schedule the press conference with our people. Plus, the Queen has her knickers in a wad because we are more of a big deal than that "other" wedding a few years ago. Psh..

Other than that.. Cheers to the freaking weekend. I thought you would NEVER get here.

Longest.stressful.insane in the membrane. week. ever. Pray

I hope you like the new look. I was feeling crafty because it's just my style. #shescrafty.

xoxo-mere

A Few of My Favorite Things...

You all know that I am in this forever quest of positive thinking and focusing on what is important. Just call me Positive Penny! ;) Not so much this weekend.

I reeeaaallllyyyyy want to be perfect. I really do. I'm not. Really. 

I have been very... dare I say.. emotional? I think that being sick on top of everything settling in with the amazing news in my life is all just coming at me. I am a classic worrier. I just want to be in control and know exactly what is going to happen and not tell anyone why I am upset or scared or anxious. People, you should just know. (I said this in my sarcastic tone and face)

I am not very happy with my reactions to things sometimes or my thought process. So, after a couple sleepless nights (thank you, Sinus Infection from Hell) I decided, it's broke. Fix it. If I don't like the way I feel, change it. So, that's what I am going to do.

Starting with me. 

I was reading one my favorite blogs and she was forced to make a list of everything that is good about her, her life, and a second list of what she is looking forward to... Oh no. Looking forward? See, that is a toughie for Ms. Meredith. Looking ahead got me in trouble. Newsflash, Craig (shout out to SNL) your life is not the same. You can and should look forward. So, I took said bloggers advice and The Queen of Lists did her thing.  Here are a few of my faaaavoorrrite things. 

1. I like the way I write the letter M. 

2. I like the way my students miss me when I am not there.

3. I like the way that I bust a random move. Usually in hallways. Near Kindergarten. Just sayin'.

4. I like my Anchor Charting skills. I make a meeeeaaannnn anchor chart.

5. I like how I make a bed.

6. I like my sarcasm. (Not self-depreciating)

7. I am looking forward to having a marriage more beautiful than my wedding.

8. Having someone to come home to and vice versa.

9. I look forward to lots of Photography sessions this summer.

10. I look forward to gaining an amazing new family.

11. Nieces. 

12. I am looking forward to finally closing a dark chapter in my life and not looking back. 

13. I like how I free-style. You should have heard my KTIP rap.

14. Spending the summer surrounded by amazing people.

15. I like the way I don't quit.

So, yeah. That's all I got right now. There was one more thing but I am keeping that for myself. Have a good week and thank you for reading my crazy.

xoxo-mere

*random thought.. my new initials with be 3 M's.*

Bliss...

This is a blog post I never thought I would write. Well, any time SOON, anyway.  I am engaged.

I am getting married. Holy cow.

I am so happy I feel like one of my students who cannot focus on anything I say. I am on top of the world. I also did not see this coming. (Well played, Boo. Well.Played.)

My close friends know how I feel about Jason. They know I love him more than anything and I have known for a long time I could see us heading this way but I just couldn't allow myself to go there fully. Almost like, "If I put it out there, it won't ever happen." I have been a ball of nerves, stress, and anxiety the past few months with work and other personal items, that I just couldn't let my guard down. I have been pretty much unbearable and the fact that this man loved me through it... Makes me melt into a ball of mushy love sickness. I am normally a very fun, positive, and hilarious (modest) person. Not so much thank you KTIP.

I have a confession to make. I know what has been weighing me down besides the everyday life stuff and I haven't told a soul... I am making the sour face. I am saying "Don't.type.it"...

I felt this void for a very long time. I think I just felt displaced and almost homeless. I know my Parents will always be home. Heck, my Mom and Dad would let me live here forever. It is home but it's not my home. I realized something about two weeks ago. Jason is my home. I feel like all is right with the world when we are together and really, that's all that matters. The other stuff, will fall into place.

Everything that I lost before, I have found. The truth is.. I never even had it to begin with and now I fell so at ease, so peaceful, and so happy. It is truly remarkable how one small choice to talk to someone changed the course of my life. A joke turned into something truly remarkable and I am so thankful for second chances.

Now, I shall tell you the story. You have to understand, I don't remember a whole lot of what happened since it.came.out.of.no.where. I mean, not joking. NO WHERE.

He wanted to go the restaurant where we went on our first date. The deal is, we go there every now and then so it didn't throw me off. We get out of the car and he says he needs some "air." *Cue trail where I take photos right by us. * We go for a walk. He says nice things to me. I, of course, play everything off like, "Yeah, yeah, that's nice but Ms. Mooney needs a gin and tonic after the full moon of crazies she dealt  with today..." We get to a nice bridge, he asks to take my picture and I say no, I see a deer and get ADD, I turn around and he's on his knee. I literally had an outer body experience. I don't think I could have had a better proposal, man, and new chapter of my life to start. I am so excited and lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky, pants. Right here.

That is all for tonight. The Report Card Fairy is not doing her job...

I want to thank those of you who read this and comment or send me messages or just care. I also got a ton of messages from people who went through similar situations as I did in my past and they gave me so much encouragement and success stories. Good stuff.

Have a great week! I don't know how you could top mine! :)

xoxo-mere

Breathe

I can finally breathe. I passed my KTIP. For those of you who do not know what this means, it is a first-year teacher internship program that lasts most of the duration of the school year and is A LOT of work. I will spare you the details but you basically have to document, provide evidence, be observed 100 times, and donate a vital organ to get your "official" teaching license.

I learned something about myself today that is something that I knew but never really embraced.. :/ I am a perfectionist. I walked out of the office in tears because I found out I am not "perfect." I am used to being the best at whatever I set my mind to and while I passed with perfect "3's" I just left the meeting feeling deflated. I got upset at myself that there is room for improvement.

I had carried this "defeat" around until about an hour or so ago, when I realized that is part of the Profession. I am a lifelong learner, I will always perfect my craft, and always strive to be the best I can. Jason said something to me tonight that clicked. He basically said that a binder is not going to show anyone I am a great teacher. I let that marinate for a while and realized he is 100% correct. I think I will keep him. (thank you for the beer, it was well needed!)

I am breathing for the first time in months with a sense of "I did it." It is over, no more Committee Meetings and tweaking my Task X, Y, Z. It.is.done. I am proud of myself and excited for the rest of the school year. I love my students. That is why I wake up everyday and go to work, sacrifice my old hot bod, and develop chest pains around 1:15 each day. lol One of my kids asked me if I was okay this afternoon. I told them I had an important meeting today about work and I was just tired from working on papers. She said to me "You know, you are pretty awesome, Ms. Mooney. You should be in charge of all the bad kids in the school because when they come to our room, they listen and calm down." They make me smile, they love me, they think I am a good teacher, and that's all that matters.

I have so many people to thank and I have thanked most of them personally. From my family, friends, my boo, coworkers, team mates, and most of all.. My Mentor of the Stars!

Have a wonderful week! Teachers in JCPS only 5 more Wednesdays!!!!

xoxo-mere

High 5 for Friday! Thursday Night Style

I know, I know! It's been way too long and I am sorry! With college basketball, KTIP, Photos, and my Boo, I've been busy. lol All good things! I had to think really hard and narrow down my top 5 favorite things of the week. So, here we go!

1.  I am just going to go ahead and say it.. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FFRRRRIIIEEENNNDDSSSSS! Man, was that awesome!? Um, yes and so is my shirt. Jealous? You should be! The best part was when my Dad called me practically in tears. He is such a softie! I absolutely love this team and the fact I watched it with someone who loves the Cards as much as I do! Win/Win.

2. Y'all know I am stressed. With KTIP (12 MORE DAYS OF HELL!), my busy season with photos picking up, debt, my house/ex sitch, and trying to figure out some health stuff, I have been a ball of anxiousness. So, what cures that? Driving out to Taylorsville my last day of Spring Break with my windows rolled down and just sitting in the middle of peacefulness, chilling. No one knew me, cared, or asked any questions. Complete calm.

3. Jill had her baby a little while ago and there is something about new babies that gets me giddy! I love this boy and my strong friend so much! You know all my bitty boyfriends have me wrapped around their pinkys. This one already does and so does his Big Brother. 

4. Speaking of bitty bf's. Sam and Ben Tindall just make me giggle. They were awesome at their session and going to lunch with them was a bonus. My friend Charlotte (their Mom) is such an amazing friend. She always picks up when I call, listens, gives me sound advice, and I just love her face. :) 

5. Can I get a holla for 54 more days until school is out??!! Boom! 

Finding My Happy.

Ahh!! Spring Break! I can't believe I made it to this point and that it's half way through. I could really get used to this whole lifestyle! I have been having a really fun week off so far that included a road trip to Indy to watch one of the most amazing college basketball games in history!,  taking photos of some adorable children, getting caught up on work, and cooking. The best part was that I was in a kitchen, alone, quiet, peace, calm... Most people I know find cooking stressful and too fussy. Not me, I find it the opposite. It is actually relaxing to me and as I was chopping and multi-tasking, I just felt completely at ease. Yesterday was.... well, it was strange but it ended the way it should. With my favorite person, doing what I love to do, and in a secure place. I was the definition of happy. I am allowing myself more and more slack to embrace being happy. Happy is as happy does. Right? ;)

This post is short but I don't have a lot to say. Those of you on Spring Break, enjoy your last few days! Also.... GO CARDS! :)

Enjoy your week and do something that makes you happy!

xoxo-mere

Here are some photos from the break. :)