Breathe

I can finally breathe. I passed my KTIP. For those of you who do not know what this means, it is a first-year teacher internship program that lasts most of the duration of the school year and is A LOT of work. I will spare you the details but you basically have to document, provide evidence, be observed 100 times, and donate a vital organ to get your "official" teaching license.

I learned something about myself today that is something that I knew but never really embraced.. :/ I am a perfectionist. I walked out of the office in tears because I found out I am not "perfect." I am used to being the best at whatever I set my mind to and while I passed with perfect "3's" I just left the meeting feeling deflated. I got upset at myself that there is room for improvement.

I had carried this "defeat" around until about an hour or so ago, when I realized that is part of the Profession. I am a lifelong learner, I will always perfect my craft, and always strive to be the best I can. Jason said something to me tonight that clicked. He basically said that a binder is not going to show anyone I am a great teacher. I let that marinate for a while and realized he is 100% correct. I think I will keep him. (thank you for the beer, it was well needed!)

I am breathing for the first time in months with a sense of "I did it." It is over, no more Committee Meetings and tweaking my Task X, Y, Z. It.is.done. I am proud of myself and excited for the rest of the school year. I love my students. That is why I wake up everyday and go to work, sacrifice my old hot bod, and develop chest pains around 1:15 each day. lol One of my kids asked me if I was okay this afternoon. I told them I had an important meeting today about work and I was just tired from working on papers. She said to me "You know, you are pretty awesome, Ms. Mooney. You should be in charge of all the bad kids in the school because when they come to our room, they listen and calm down." They make me smile, they love me, they think I am a good teacher, and that's all that matters.

I have so many people to thank and I have thanked most of them personally. From my family, friends, my boo, coworkers, team mates, and most of all.. My Mentor of the Stars!

Have a wonderful week! Teachers in JCPS only 5 more Wednesdays!!!!

xoxo-mere