Letting the dust settle

Have you ever seen the movie "Scarface"? Let's just say that after pretty much breaking a power sander on the walls of the kitchen we are remodeling. I had to step out for a minute and breathe. (Literally) I felt a little overwhelmed and like I was biting off more than I can chew. My cousin was with me and we ran to Lowe's together and we were in the car and she busts out laughing. I looked like Scarface with all the white powder all over my body, face, and nose. I guess all the "dust" needed to settle and when it did, it settled on me....

Which leads me to this post topic.... I am not a good communicator. I know, I know. Me? A blogger and talker? It's really true. I have drafted countless posts and deleted all of them because they just didn't make sense or they sounded so blaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am not really sure what it is that is prompting this but I can explain it like this. I am not a fan of things being "up in the air." I like order, plans, and a schedule. I also like having a sense that I fit somewhere and that if something is wrong, I can and will fix it.

I haven't been so great at any of this the past few da..mon...years. It is the strangest thing to have everything you have EVER wanted within reach. I still pinch myself that THIS is my life now. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. I try very hard to keep all that in perspective which is why I think I have a difficult time speaking my mind if there is something on it that is dragging me. I have this pit in my stomach that just keeps nagging me and I think I may have figured a small part of it out. I feel dishelveled. I have a home but it's not mine. The home that is in my name, is still in limbo, and we are getting closer to moving into OUR home. It's all right there but... it's all up in the air.

I need the dust to settle. I need to have everything fall from the air and hit the ground so I can clean it up, fix it, and have a clean slate. I am confident that this will pass. I need to be patient and positive. I need to also remember I have so many people (1 in particular) to help me and share all this craziness with. Although they may not understand my rantings and moodiness, they will listen and just accept it.

That's all. End rant.

I am having a ball picking out paint colors and pinning home decor ideas. Silver lining. ;)

Have a great week and enjoy this sunshine!!

xoxo-mere