Getting Good At Starting Over..

I really think I am the Queen of "Starting Over." I had 3 people contact me for advice on how to start over and get through a rough time. 3 people who I feel a strong sense of helping and I started thinking about how I actually did it and it comes down to this... I wasn't raised in a family where we wallow or allow ourselves to be victims, you put one foot down and keep walking, you make a goal and you nail it, you work hard, you fight hard, and you never let them see you sweat. Someone actually told me I should write a Self-Help Book. I have been thinking of titles but my creative juices have been spent on classroom decor and lessons recently. :)

All of this pondering was actually good for me because truth me told...This week sucked. There, I said it. I have spent the past 48ish hours really thinking about some of the things in my life I want to change and what I am doing to make these things happen. Seriously, the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? lol So.. I figured it out. I am a "fixer" and a "settler." Well, guess what Men of Louisville. This settler is moving on to greener pastures and leaving her tool belt at home. End rant.

So, there you have it. Quick and simple. I want it all and almost is just not good enough anymore. I want butterflies, sleepless nights (not from worrying), a man that messes up my lipstick and not my mascara, someone who wants to show me off, spend time with me, let me cook for them, wear their t-shirts to bed, be able to wear heels and not look like a giant, someone who is as fiercely loyal as I am, someone who bleeds red and not blue (sorry Jame, Jill, and Mel), loves dogs, kids, will listen to me gush about my students and my love for teaching, let me complain about photo clients and rave about their kids, travels with me, likes my family, will NOT smother me (that is the kiss of death with me), I want to feel comfortable speaking my mind, will watch Bravo with me (okay, that may be a bit overboard), I seriously could go on....

You know what is sad? I have yet to have that. In 30 years of life. I have never had that "head over heels" kind of romantic love. I worry.. Am I not lovable? Is there something about me that scares men away? Was 1 certain jack-wagon right and no one will put up with me long term? Maybe my non-existent balls are bigger than most guys in my dating demographic? I get cynical sometimes and wonder if that exists? *sigh* who knows? It's life right? It's all one big gamble. One thing I do know for sure is... I am ready to get in my classroom. Night loves!

XOXO-Mere