Friends. They are at the core of who I am and I must say, I have some pretty amazing ones in my life. My role usually is therapist and I like that role because it suits me very well. The people in my life that know me and I mean truly know me have been in my my life for various lengths. Some over 10, 20 years. Others a year or two. I have this innate ability to mask the truth of my feelings. I can shut down anger, sadness, or anxiousness. Much, in large part, thanks to my past dealings. I am in such a transition right now and I want to free myself of the excuses of my past and how I dealt with things before by putting up a front or guard. It is getting to be exhausting. I fight myself constantly in the struggle to allow myself to think about positive outcomes in my life for the future. I just have this fear of being let down or worse... not allowed to have the opportunities that I
desperately (because Meredith Craig isn't desperate) REALLY want to experience. That is where good friends come in to the mix.
Last night, my BFFs Jamie and Melissa were talking and the conversation went from husbands, babies, sex, drinking, to me (naturally) and they had to pull out the crow bar to get me to tell them what was on my mind. I said "Nothing really?" and they called B.S. which, I think is their Mom Instincts taking over. lol Jamie really made me think about what I say to defend my feelings. I have this way of saying the opposite of what I think will happen. So, instead of "Yeah, when..." I say "It's probably not going to happen.." I don't do it to get a reaction from anyone, I do it so that if it doesn't happen I won't be hurt as badly. Then you have to think, "Will it really not hurt as much?"
So, in my quest to be more positive and happy, I am really going to be conscious of what I put out there in terms of my words. It will not be easy but I think in the end.. It will really be worth it.
In other news, I graduated on Saturday. I am a Master. :)
Have a great week loves. XOXO-Meredith
Friends. They are at the core of who I am and I must say, I have some pretty amazing ones in my life. My role usually is therapist and I like that role because it suits me very well. The people in my life that know me and I mean truly know me have been in my my life for various lengths. Some over 10, 20 years. Others a year or two. I have this innate ability to mask the truth of my feelings. I can shut down anger, sadness, or anxiousness. Much, in large part, thanks to my past dealings. I am in such a transition right now and I want to free myself of the excuses of my past and how I dealt with things before by putting up a front or guard. It is getting to be exhausting. I fight myself constantly in the struggle to allow myself to think about positive outcomes in my life for the future. I just have this fear of being let down or worse... not allowed to have the opportunities that I 
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